Manhattan Muppets

 

“Why is life worth living? It’s a very good question. Um… Well, There are certain things I guess that make it worthwhile. uh… Like what… okay… um… For me, uh… ooh… I would say… what, Groucho Marx, to name one thing… uh… um… and Wilie Mays… and um… the 2nd movement of the Jupiter Symphony… and um… Louis Armstrong, recording of Potato Head Blues… um… Swedish movies, naturally… Sentimental Education by Flaubert… uh… Marlon Brando, Frank Sinatra… um… those incredible Apples and Pears by Cezanne… uh… the crabs at Sam Wo’s… uh… Tracy’s face..”

Get Dark

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Growing up, by mother was always against painting any walls, any color. So when I moved into a place where I was given a 6 room redecorating challenge, I went crazy with painting and wallpapering. I loved every room in that house. I used all of the colors that inspired me. The problem with it was that since I wasn’t bored of seeing the same rooms when I left, I couldn’t seem to utilize the same colors in my new apartment without associating it with the previous apartment. 

So I decided I needed something new and bold. Almost everything I own is white. I feel like too  much white against a white wall can look empty and cold unless it is a cluster of off white antiques chachkas.

So I went completely opposite.  

Telling my family that I’ve painted a wall in my bedroom black, is like telling them that I’ve quit everything to follow in the footsteps of Michael Campbell.

I’ll admit that when I put the first coat down I panicked slightly, but then remembered how nice it can look, if its done properly. 

I have nothing to show for my black room yet, except for a happy face.

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Fisting Tables

Receiving a Bachelors in industrial design followed by a Masters in fine arts, Wendell Castle is known for being one of the first to incorporate art into his furniture. 

I feel like he makes too much Alex Mack furniture now, but his ‘vintage’ collection is pretty unique. Who am I kidding! I will always love him for his rocking chairs and fisting tables.

Where’s Your Kiddie Pool?

In order to get to Hagi for my $4 bowl of Uni, I had to weave through this tailgate party last night.

What the hell is the point of it?! Is city traffic not notorious enough? Were tourists in Time Square walking at such an exhausting pace, that they need to take a break?

Silly Bloomberg. Why is this ok? Bryant park has all of this, and less that 5 blocks away. I get that he wants to make driving a less desirable way of commuting within the city, but even if that were to happen, that distwill ALWAYS be busy. Its too close to the tunnel, to not expect a crossover of traffic.

Has he forgotten that this is supposed to be him prime time to show off his sad attempts to ‘understand’ real New Yorkers? Like that time when the MTA went on strike and he wanted to show everyone he can use a $800.00 bike to get to work, so we should use ours too!

Link to the article on the change in Time Square.

Photo of lazy women on the street by Seth Wenig.

I Love You AND Your Moms Basement!

See the dreamboat sail

Back to Bed. Tits for Tuesdays

Haven’t slept in days. I envy the actions of this post. 

Memorial Day and Metal

After the bloodiest and most divisive war in American history, Commander in Chief John A. Logan of the Grand Army of the Republic instituted the holiday at Arlington Cemetery in 1868 “For the purpose of strewing with flowers or otherwise decorating the graves of comrades who died in defense of their country during the late rebellion, and whose bodies now lie in almost every city, village, and hamlet churchyard in the land.”

Photo and excerpt are from AT…

It seems that this holiday was put together so that there was a day off for people to reflect on the lost in battle and to gather themselves after the stress of spring and prepare for the summer days. 

I don’t know who we’re kidding. Celebrations of anything that has happened over 25 years before ones life and don’t involve some sort of mandatory gift giving, are easily forgotten. At this point, Memorial Day is basically is the kick off of summer. 

So Happy Summer! 

I don’t think anyone knows how to celebrate the re-welcoming of nature better than these dudes:

Arts, Crafts, and Spilt Milk

Arts, Crafts, and Spilt Milk

Brooklyn, NY 

2009

 

Photos By: Chloe Rice

Damn The French.

I really should hate Xavier Barrade. My instinct tells me so. He’s French. He’s an artist that can’t draw with any patience. And thinks “freelance graphic designer” is a real job.

And yet he lures me in with his innovate ‘pie’ charts, fill in the blank science visuals, creative typography, and hand made book bindings. He makes me want to sew on paper, do math with M&M’s, continue to make bobble heads with the pages of my grandmothers old LIFE Universe Encyclopedias. So basically continue doing the same shit I’ve been doing for the past 24 years.

Love Life. Birthday Edition.

Grand family

New york, NY 2009 

Its finally starting to feel like my birthday week is coming to an end.  Despite feeling like a vagabond with the flu, the little things in life are still pretty neat.

Here is the list of little things that have made me happy, recently:

• Making mushroom barley soup while listening to a William Shatner album.
• Constantly hearing Devon singing on commercial breaks knowing that he’s finally making he bank that he deserves.
• My grandmother laughing uncontrollably to break up tension between my mother and I.
• Hand sewing dolls till sunset in the new and improved Riverside Park.
• Braving Time Square to see Star Trek in IMAX with a polite yet loud mouthed friend embarrassing people who ‘hold seats’. A theater thats %40 full, and we can’t find two seats next to each other? 
• Making up ridiculous dances to ridiculous songs. Recording them in Photobooth. And laughing at myself when I’m down.
• Renaming songs in my iTunes to titles that I find more fitting for the artist who wrote them. Like love songs called “Singing Shit I Should Eat”
• Going to Fairway for lemonade at midnight simply because its warm out and I can. I don’t even like lemonade.
• Laughing loudly at mildly funny things. Like Saturday Night Live.
• Sleeping for 20 hours, to avoid sickness. Its like I’ve hibernated and am ready for this new season.
• Creating full playlists on Blip.
• Deciding when its ok to give up, and give in to chocolate dinners at Max Brenners. 
• Having long phone conversations with old friends who have a mutual hatred for using cell phones, while their on vacation. Makes a girl feel missed.
• Being the chocolate ice cream tester for Fine & Raw Chocolates.
• Receiving a mystery bundle of hardcover Woody Allen books, for my birthday.
• Doing something fun before realizing that its potentially really gross. (Free Kayaking on the Hudson) 
• Getting to see the clip of Hank Azaria at the end of the stupid Ben Stiller movie preview. Azaria is one of my favorite actors. I think its the fact that he can play so many characters with a lisp.
• Getting a man made cake box filled with bones sent to work, when I’m having a bad day.
• Cute baristas making cute pandas out of coffee.
• Buying a new colored felt pen every week (one a week ’cause their so damn expensive), and adding a scribble in it to my sketch book.
• American Nightmares self titled album in the morning. I get really stoked waking up to Protest #00.
• Making prints of my digital photos, in large scale, aaand selling them

Beam Me Up, Hippy

I want this piece from the Devorah Sperber Mirror Universe exibit in my living room. No furniture. Just this very well thought out beaded curtain.

I‘ve seen what this artist can do with a spool before, at the Brooklyn Art Museum. It was interesting I guess, but I’m glad to see that her core of creativity lies in unusual reconstruction of more things than just thread. 

 

other dork art includes:

This David Herbert 8ft high VHS made of foam, plexiglass, and latex paint.

Invaders have pieced Charlie together through 10 feet of  Rubrik’s Cubes.

The same artist did this tile piece of Goldorak!

ASCII art being brought to another level, when this dork turned Gandolf  digital.

 

this is all cool and whatever, but nothing compares to Jim.

 

 

Furthering My Argument That Cat People Are Crazy

What happens when you remove the unamused carb loving cat Garfield from the comic bearing his name? This guy went there.

Sometimes funny,  mostly just surreal. You can now watch Jon Arbuckle fighting a losing battle against boredom, travelling deeper and deeper into insanity. It makes you wonder…did Garfield even exist, or is Arbuckle a spitting image of that neighbor I used to have who did too much acid in the 60’s? 

Girls Are Silly (Tits for Tuesday)

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Skeeze v.s. Sleeze

Today, Woody Allen took Dov Charney, founder of American Apparel, to court for a 10 million dollar dispute after Charney used an image from Annie Hall on billboards that were displayed in LA and NY, around 2 years ago.

Dov Charney is an immature perverted prick. I’ve had an interview with him, where I witnessed him make a 14 year old cry when he told her that her make up was making her look fat and ugly. I got the seal of approval for introducing him the the term ‘feminazi’. Dude’s a sad short coke headed moron.

True that Woody Allens personal life is bizarre and unorthodox, but that doesn’t change the fact that he is still a brilliant writer with a unique humor.  If it wasn’t true, than American Apparel wouldn’t be trying to promote themselves through his work. I would like to highlight the term ‘work’, since Charneys lawyer has been publicly planning an attack on Allens law suit by possibly bringing his wives and ex wives to the stand in order to dispute that Allens personal life has ruined his reputation and is not worth 10 million.

Fuck you, you hypocritical sleaze! Money is not something that will be affecting American Apparel. A company that has made a name for themselves by posting images of underage girls in various stages of undressed. Tattered images, are a poor argument for Charney to dispute with what is now nothing but a married old man who takes pride in the films he makes. A true sign of that is the fact that he does not let his work be used to publicized in order to promote companies.

So granted, both Allen and Charney  are creeps. But while Allen makes bank through rewriting his life into humors fiction, Charney drugs anorexic whores, takes photos of them half naked, and publicizes it. And when he’s not, he decides to steal stills classic films that have NOTHING to do with his product and display them in order to say ‘Hey! I’m a funny sleazy Jew, too!” Slightly more direct and uncreative and insulting.

Gawker article about this can be found here.

Edit: while I was writing this out, my New York Times application informed me of this.