Posts Tagged ‘opinion’

Death By Bacon

May 1, 2009

swinebabyThis morning I read this article about a mass amount of people going to the hospital not because they think they HAVE Swine Flu, but because they’re afraid of contracting it in the future.

You have been asked to not go to the doctor unless absolutely necessary, and you fucking assholes are going because you are fully aware that you don’t have the damn flu?! Fuck you, you dense self serving nation.

The reports noted 3 states particularity, that have had a surge of  these JitterBugs.

  • New York
  • Alabama
  • California.

Of course! The Spoiled, the Stupid, and the Psychosomatic are clogging up the hospitals with neurotic fears.

I blame Bidens speech for pushing this damn thing the wrong way. Who let this man go to the public to basically say “PANIC! Don’t travel! Don’t touch things! ….especially if you’re already sick.”

Dear Joe Biden,

You have a way with words and although it may be useful and bold, I just don’t feel like its best for the average neurotic American to understand. The media spent the rest of the day back tracking and correcting you’re big blunt American mouth.

Control yourself,

Chloe Rice

s-kathie-lee-gifford-largeKathy Lee Gifford highlighted the fact that Biden DID mention that these rules should apply if you’re already sick. But who the fuck listens to that loud mouthed, suction faced, slave enforcing woman, anyway?

Bloomberg cut out 40 minutes of Martha Stewart, to explain the same thing, as well as give some details of the school outbreaks. (Did anyone else catch this? He kept stopping his speech to repeat it in Spanish. It sounded like he was in a 5th grade foreign language course. Don’t televisions have a function that does this for you, so that our mayor doesn’t sound like such a fool?)

His speech was to reassure NY that St. Francis was under control, and they’ve moved on to investigating other flagged schools. I assumed this meant

“Its fine. Chill out so that we can try to beat the Pig from spreading instead of looking at the place that’s already under control just so that you can feel a false sense of security. And if you are attentively having to listen to this and have me breast feed it to you, you should probably also listen to this little fact: WASH YOUR MITTS AND DON’T COUGH ON PEOPLE, MORON.

oregontrail

Don’t get me wrong. This Swine Flu is awful and I can’t believe its spreading like it has been, but worse things happen in this world. Haven’t you ever played Oregon Trail?! People loose their entire families and pets, by eating their transportation and getting sicknesses where they shit blood uncontrollably before dying. But you don’t see THEM clogging up hospitals. No. They toss grandma from the wagon and move on.

_45717747_swineWe’re such a sheltered country, that someone coughs on the train, and the whole fucking cart is on their way to the E.R. I’ve avoided the subject of this for as long as I could, because typically these things that get Americans crazed and are over before they can even venture into a massive threat. But the publicity of this has caught my attention. Everyone seems to need the government to hold their hand, and say over and over again to go on with their lives. Do we just have nothing better to worry about? Can we really not take care of ourselves to the point that the heads of our country have to make an announcement to not go venturing out on a cootie hunt if you’re sick, and to wash your hands to get rid of germs?

Personally, I’m not concerned with contracting this virus. You see, technically it would be considered death by bacon. And I couldn’t think of a more fitting way for me to go.

And of all the people that should be stressing about thing thing, I think I win. Because according to this PSA, old ladies and Chihuahua lovers are at a high risk:

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Luckily, Bee and I are always well prepared for sicknesses.

the photo of the Baby Host (source).
the photo of Kathy Lee comes up when you google 'Kathy Lee Scary'
the photo of the Bee n Chloe belong to ohChloe
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Better Off Ted

April 25, 2009

 

dd-goodmanontv18_0499915463I usually don’t care for television shows. I was so distanced from sitcoms for so long on tour, that when I got back into trying to watch TV, there was shows like Arrested Development and The Office, which took me a while to understand the style of. 

(I still don’t get all the hoopla about The Office) 

dd-goodmanontv18_0499915465

I DO however like 30 Rock, and enjoyed Andy Richter Controls the Universe. Better Off Ted reminds me of both of these shows a little. Its crisp and witty. Filled with visual punch lines and cynicaly upbeat characters.

I’m really hoping that this show is a sucessful comedy for ABC, since they tend to do pretty poorly with those…

 

portia-better-off-ted

“Money before people. It’s engraved right there in the lobby floor. It just looks more heroic in Latin.” -Veronica

Bad Artists Die of Natural Causes: The Mix

April 22, 2009
14_oberst2_lgl1Bands are such a market, nowadays. And a dying one at that. Just milking what they can as fast as they can based mainly around an image and an air-headed fan base, more than the music. 

Fleeting Foxes?

Go screw yourselves.

The type of music I used to keep an ear out for, has turned into  winey sludge with stock riffs. It has lost whatever made it memorable or inspiring, by holding on too closely to what inspired them and hacking it to shit. When musicians stick too closely to the music that inspires them, i feel like it ultimately ruins the category of music they want so badly to be part of. Shit can only inspire more shit.

Heres the aproach that seems to work: Getting your drum stick out of your ass, and realizing that you’re not anywhere near as good as your idols. You never will be. But the only thing to aspire for is uniqueness. Unique makes you memorable. Memorable is a beautiful inspiration to do something well, and never finding satisfaction. 

The most innovated ‘artists’ seem to be the ones that end up offing themselves. 
Because they seem to know they’re not who they idolize.
This is why Ian Curtis is rotting and why you don’t see this Conor Oberst character on any type of suicide watch.

SpringMixI’m not artist. I am not a musician. I don’t even care for ‘good music’, by todays standards. But I don’t think a time will come when I don’t like making a mix cd.

Being a happily rebellious teenager, I completely missed that pre-emo late 90’s era of music that included a lot of band like…i don’t know, Quasi
I suppose I thought that if the music wasn’t happy or angry I wanted nothing to do with it because I couldn’t relate. Nor did I have any desire to relate to anything remotely sad.
It apparently just took a few elements (and 10 extra years) to finally  appreciate this type of music:
  • Acceptance of sadness
  • A clean mental slate/ open  mind
  • The right song to guide you in (I think mine may have been Sidewalk by Built to Spill)
dancinThe only new music that I’ve found myself listening to is mainly hip hop, and it can only amuse me for so long. I recently decided to start a trend to keep me encouraged on music, even if its ‘out dated’. 

I would keep my spare computer with all of my iTunes music (bought and ‘borrowed’) playing on shuffle continuously. I made a playlist to document the month and year.  Every time a song came on that would catch my attention, I would be sure to add it to the playlist. By the end of the month, I would have a collection of songs that I had spent so long ignoring or letting myself forget about how much I enjoyed. Then I made a few copies of this mix, and sent it to a few friends along side some people who just sent me their addresses. 

March was the second month of this irrelevant project of mine, and was the first one where I sent it out to others. I plan on doing it every month since I have a memory that seems to mainly work when stimulated by sounds and smells. 

Heres what was on my most recent mix:

  1. Fortress: Pinback
  2. I Wanna Know About You: International Noise Conspericy 
  3. Mason City: The Fiery Furnaces
  4. This Here Giraffe: The Flaming Lips
  5. Epic Problem: Fuguzi
  6. Winters Come And Gone: Gillian Welch
  7. A String Of Pearls: Glenn Miller
  8. Look How We Made These People: Half-Handed Cloud
  9. Screw The Naysayers: The Hidden Hand
  10. 1-2-8-: Mighty Mighty Bosstones
  11. Anything You Can Do: Irving Berlin
  12. Footsteps In The Dark: The Isley Brothers
  13. In The Wee Small Hours: The John Pizzarelli Trio
  14. Would You Die For Me: Notorious B.I.G.
  15. Present Tense: Piebald
  16. Cupid: Sam Cooke
  17. Kodachrome: Paul Simon
  18. Penelope: Pinback
  19. Engine Heart: Mirah