Archive for June, 2009

anti PETA tits for tuesday

June 30, 2009

awe!I’ve collected boobs! And this photo…

Yes. While most may lust after the girls , I think I want to marry this one.

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Well, Fuck Yay!

June 29, 2009

ColeWordsRyan is one of my closest friends. He’s a well known motivator. Every time I ever wanted to quit something, he would give me some idea, project, or contact to help push me forward. He’s really been there when I needed him to give me the most unconventional and useful advice of any of my peers. He’s logical, funny, and just a great person that I am fortunate to have in my life.

For several years he managed the burlesque tour that I was a part of. Ryan single handedly kept away creepy men while herding groups of girls who rarely wore clothes, vomited on themselves in the wee hours of the morning, and was the taker of all of those “I hate you, you asshole” moments simply because he was the one who had to lay down the law.

Now that he’s had a baby girl he gets to do it for even longer!!!!

For the past 9 months, he has kept an enticing blog that followed his life as a soon to be dad.

He’s taken amazing photos of his wife’s’ weekly progress while she modeled American Apparel clothes. 

Cole and Ryan had a Tessa at 1:51 AM, this morning. Which means that I haven’t really since yesterday.

Congratulations, Buddy!

The Marshmallows Are Invading

June 29, 2009

IMG_5035photo by Chloe Rice

The other day the girlfriend and I backed out on our Hoop Sculpting class, last minute. (Yeah thats right. Working out with a hula hoop. What of it…)

In a haze of shame and pizza guts, I decided that it was a nice day and I was going to take that extra time to walk to my next errand running destination, 4 miles away. About 3/4 of the way there I got distracted by an awesome pair of shit kicking boots in a window and went in to try them on. When I looked outside, it was pooooooooourrrrrrring rain. With minutes moving faster, I decided I had no time for this water to stop falling. 

I wrapped my camera, phone, and other robots into the towel that was intended for an intense hoola hooping class, carefully packed it into my bag, and left the nest of umbrella bearing people. 

The rain was freezing and heavy. After the initial shock  (and unintentional shriek) that came with being cold and completely drenched, came the feeling of joy and liberation. For about 20 blocks I was the only pedestrian on Madison Avenue. The only person who wasn’t letting the atmosphere take a chunk of my day. With my blonde hair clinging to my cheeks and the pleats from my skirt dripping rain directly into my boots, I stomped every puddle I passed. I smiled at the old woman who yelled from the cupcake shop that I was going to catch a horrible cold. I laughed at how ridiculous and child-like the entire experience was.

The Rain StormA photo Tyler took of a girl venturing through the said rainstorm, like me!

I had a dry set of clothes to change right into when I got to where I needed to be. And of course the rain stopped right when I got there, but I’m glad I walked through it. It reminded me that you can’t stop the weather but you can let it stop you. But why? Half the time, you’re on your way home anyways, no?

The storm was so intense and so sudden. And it left one of the most amazing, dooms day worthy skies I’ve seen in this city. 

It was so notably crazy that I’ve compiled a set of photos people took of the same sky and posted on their Flickr accounts:

post rain stormI took this photo shortly after. There was no photoshop involved.

tylers stormphoto source 

flickphoto source

Janesphoto source

barrysphoto source

jasonsphoto source

phophoto source

“This Is It”

June 28, 2009

Obit Michael Jackson Teax

Its a beautiful Thursday afternoon. I was eating a burger in the park, when this group of flamboyant teenagers next to me stabbed my ear with their moronically worded conversation. “Oh Em Gee. Em Jay is dead!” I was bored and intrigued so I picked up my phone to see if it was legit of if this was the new Urkel Death Hoax. As I picked up my phone, my mother was calling. 

“hey mom.”

“did you hear the news?” 

“the dead guy ne-“

“HERE WAIT….TMZ saying…..hes stoped  breathing” 

“well that typically happens when your de-” 

“IN A COMA….no…..dead….yeah. Hes dead. Can you believe it? The THRILLAAAA’ “

“Its pretty crazy. I’m eating a burger. Can I call you later?”

As I hang up the phone I realize every single conversation around me is the same one. The group of pride filled teenagers obviously don’t because their to busy vocalizing their friends facebooks status over each other. 

“Oh em gee I want to like stand up and scream it. I’m so sad. You guys I am like so effing sad.” 

A parent pushing a child on a bike walks by and this fucking girl screams at the kid “MICHAEL JACKSON IS DEAD. HES DEAD! I’m so sad!!” I can’t pin point why this is completely disrespectful to everyone involved, but it is.  

5 minutes has passed since the word has broke, and I am already so agitated by ignorance and stupidity that I’m ready to throw a wad of meat at someone.

This thought was cut off by the sound of Thriller being played from a Blackberry. I unwittingly let out a “gahh” sound, trashed my meal, and walked toward the subway. Within this 5 minute walk, I passed 3 bars, 2 ‘pimped out’ cars, and a group of under dressed over weight girls all chanting one of those Michael Jackson songs from the 80’s that I just can’t stand hearing anymore. 

It was Friday. These types of things only occurred more frequently as the night went on. 

I’ve been watching the news trying to find out what else is going on in the world, but all I see is well respected new reporters  coming off like part of the Tiger Beat street team. 

The woman sitting next to me, this morning, had loaded some of photos of him onto her digital camera and was just looking at them. Over and over again. Why?? WHAT IS GOING ON IN YOUR MIND GRAPES???

I’m pretty cranky over it. Didn’t we spend several years referring to this man as ‘Wacko Jacko’?!?

Did I miss something?

Obit Michael Jackson Reax

 

Like many other pedophiles, Jackson had a traumatizing childhood. His dad beat the shit out of him, and he was forced to sing and dance for money before he could care about it.

He was never comfortable with who he was, and that was a sad reality that we all witnessed through his lifetime. But the same question that occurs when the bully that everyone hated in school suddenly kicks the bucket, comes up again:

Why does he stand out as some sort of hero now that he’s dead?? 

Its been nearly 15 years since hes knocked out one of his catchy songs, and stood on a stage  to gracefully flail his pale faced, glittering, anorexic body in a cloud of smoke and a gust of fake wind. 

There has been no credit given towards his philanthropist efforts. The only thing that he should be respected for at the point. Its all about Thriller, the moonwalk, the car Janet Jackson drove into his rental, and other nonsense. Why are we allowing ourselves to be over saturated in this boys lucrative career? Its ridiculous!

bubble

Have we simply forgotten what a morbid fucking creep he ended up being?

  • When he went to court (in his pajamas, disrespectfully enough) when he was charged on kid touching. 
  • When he married Elvis daughter to verify himself as being the ‘king of’ something. 
  • When he paid off the mother of his two children so that he could have full custody of them? I’m sure that unlike his childhood of feeling unloved, his children must have felt wonderful knowing that their mother cared about money more than them. 
  • When he held his infant over a balcony with a sheet over its head to introduce it to the public. How the fuck does someone explain why someone who loved him let that happened, when the child is old enough to question it? 

I know that everyone I know is currently calling my ‘disrespectful’. I’m used to it, but don’t get me wrong. Despite the fact that a part of me thought he had died after he disappeared after his trials in 2005, I was still slightly shocked for the first 30 seconds after I heard it. I was a child  in the 80s, too. I was effected by Michael Jacksons music when I was an easily influenced, open minded tot. When I first saw Captian EO, my world was flipped upside down. It was my first introduction to music! Dancing! Science fiction! MUPPETS! I owned the cassettes and thought he was pretty cool. And Ben?! Ben was an amazing song! When someone asks me what may favorite rat inspired song was, it has always been Ben! 

work

I work in an environment where an image of him is surrounded by flowers, now!

I do respect him for never fighting back at the media with bitterness. I appreciate the millions he has spent on child organizations, in an effort to give back the childhood that he was unable to have. I admire the brilliance in being able to target every age group so dead on, for so long. He was an icon. A staple of a time in everyones life. And if his death were putting an end to an era, I’d say ‘rest in peace, MJ’. But its not ending it. Its bringing out how many idiots there are in this world. 

awe

Can I get you to lower the volume on your MJ Pandora station, mellow down the zombie coreography, and put down your white gloved hand momentarily to give you some facts to think about?

  • Michael Jackson was in a hefty amount of debt
  • After being M.I.A. for several years, he hires a promotion team to start him on a pretty extravagant tour
  • After being considered in ‘great shape’ the management team announces a mysterious postponement of the tour.
  • The entire team working on his new tour, are apparently present at the time of his death.
  • AEG said verified that Jacksons health made him eligible for the first part of insurance.
  • No one can find this previously out of work doctor of his, currently.
  • Many people working for Jackson were given cash advances weren’t very concerned with his troublesome financial state.

Oh hell, I’m bored of this. I think you see that I think that he was more likely offed than anything and that insurance had something to do with it, yada, yada…

 

Poor fella’


Don’t Get Cute or You’ll Get Kicked

June 25, 2009

 

footsie

mr perfect

Kicking, People?! I think the advice of my friends would only fly with this hunk.

Don’t Bother Looking Up Her Dress.

June 24, 2009

bib dressI don’t mean to sound pompous but I think this dress would look better on me than on some headless red torso’d body. Unfortunately, this no limbed hussy must have more extra money than I do, since she seems to be able to afford the dress I want.

Rain Soaked Joy

June 24, 2009

oh clustersI have nothing to complain about. Although I wish this NY summer had less rain to it, I do like the sound it makes on my windows. Although I don’t have a photo job coming up, it does give me a chance to work on my personal projects. Blah, blah, vomit, blah, more glass-half-full bullshit….. Heres some other things I like, lately:

tits for tuesday

June 23, 2009

tamaSuigyo No Majiwari

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Mrs. Bob Villa

June 22, 2009

clockspaceMy friend Erin was inspired by my apartment photos to go around and take some of her own. I was inspired by my friend Erins post about it, to make a post of my own.

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Sleepwalking Pups

June 19, 2009

 

Worms on a Stick

June 18, 2009

I've Got Worms

Worms on a Stick
New York, NY
2009

Photo By: Chloe Rice

Food Porn

June 17, 2009

Don’t be fooled by its cuteness. This food tastes like robots and My Little Ponies…Not like I’ve eaten a pony…toy…but…uh…hm…

mmm whippyMixko

pancakesyum! Plastic!

I Dig Your Goatee

June 17, 2009

StareaterThis predatory fish, called a stareater, uses its luminous red chin appendage to lure prey into striking distance.

The fish was one of more than 30,000 marine creatures hauled up by a team of 26 scientists and 18 crew during a census of Antarctic life in early 2008.

The team endured icy weather as cold as 8.6 degrees Fahrenheit which caused equipment to freeze up and samples to ice over as soon as they landed on deck.

You can see a series of photos of what was found here.

findingnemo

I guess everyone gets veneers in Hollywood.

Summer Lovin’ Ladies

June 16, 2009

Warm tea in one hand. Scrolling mouse in the other,  I looked at photos of other people being sunburnt and sweaty all day.

Looks nice, ya jerks!

flash temp

The other night I had an amazing rare and raw steak filled dinner at the soon to be Standard Grill with my  adorable glittering girlfriend and the beautiful and hilariously perverse Molly Crabapple.

Other than taking Little Richards’ temperature with my flash, girlish laughter was had through hotel antics. Gala and I frankenstein-ed digital photography by attaching my Canon flash to her Nikon camera (photo evidence will prove that Nikon is not my friend). In my typical sweet toothed hobo fashion I left with tons travel Nutella packets. And on the cab ride home I was given well needed spoken tour of my neighborhood from Fred!

As if this wasn’t a joy enough, I also got a large bump from a link to my blog! Hi! I don’t know if  Galas friends are as perverted as I am, so let me just re-warn you, new comer. Every Tuesday I like to have a reason to put up photos of happy topless ladies with real knockers and interesting photography.

butt

So, if you look through the rest of this post all you’re gonna see is a heap of titties.

Summer lovin’ titties on a Tuesday.

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