Posts Tagged ‘chocolate’

How Long, Chocolate Death Dog?

November 6, 2010

I was pretty sure I learned everything there was to know about chocolate and dogs after my chiuhauha had once licked a Milky Way bar and my ex decided to google “how long chocolate death dog?”. The dog was fine and the google term became a running joke often repeated in a super hero voice.

Turns out the legitimate answer to how long it takes before chocolate can start to really kill a dog, is around 6 hours. Thats how long it takes for the caffeine in chocolate to fully absorb into your pups bloodstream and raise its heart rate to the point of  inducing a seizure or making it pump at such an accelerated pace, that it just gives out. The darker the chocolate, the more the caffeine percentage, the more likely the outcome.

What the hell, Charlie? You can protect me from the undead but can’t handle a little bit of candy?!

Why do I know about it this time around? My room mate left an ounce of 70% dark chocolate out for Charlie while I was out, yesterday. When I came home she was really hyper and alert. Just tweakin out! My room mate kept saying they should pump her stomach or feed her hydrogen peroxide. I thought she was nuts but apparently both are theories that work. Only when caught almost immediately after the dog ingests, though.

The emergency vet told me that her heart rate was over twice of what it should be. Indicating that the caffeine had already set in, making it too late to pump her little stomach. The only thing they could do at that point, is pump her full of water and charcoal in order to filter the toxins through her kidneys. Basically the same regimen that our household gives ourselves after a night of hard drinking. Something I went to after I saw the vet bill.

So heres what I’ve learned of what to do when you’ve poisoned your dog:

  • Do not waste your time calling poison control. They don’t deal with animals.
  • Don’t waste your time calling the ASPCA hotline. The try to charge you $65 dollars for advice, which in these cases, is always “take your pet to the vet”
  • If you’re dog ate milk chocolate, I wouldn’t panic too much because of the low cacao percentage.
  • If you’re dog ate dark chocolate, I’d suggest a quiet panic, as to not excite the canine any more.
  • If you’re dog eats it within an hour or so, try force feeding it peroxide to induce puking. (1 tsp for smaller dogs, 2 tsp for larger dogs)
  • According to this article, my toy poodle would have been able to digest charcoal pills. In retrospect, I should have given her a charcoal pill while continuously force feeding her water for 24 hours. I may have still be able to pay my rent next month, if I had known.

Luckily, she’s alright and I get to pick her up from the hospital soon enough to be able to watch Saturday Night Live together.

How To Make Some Bad Ass Brownies

November 4, 2009

BROWNIES

I don’t recall ever being a huge fan of brownies, growing up. Probably because growing up with a less than domestic mother, I always assumed that the kind I made from the box were just how they were supposed to taste. It was kind of like eating a texture-less soggy chocolate cake.

So when I began to learn about baking a bit more, I thought that there had to be a reason WHY people eat this stuff. I realized through my ottering* technique of eating that I only really cared for the top layer. That minuet layer between the papery flakey top and the gooey center. The upper crust, if you will.

Apparently, that thick layer of crunchy sugary goodness that clings to the dense warm gooey layer of chocolate is just a meringue*! So basically my idea of the perfect brownie is a meringue half-breed! The secret to that upper crust is this:

The longer you beat the eggs and sugar in the first step, the thicker your crust will get.

(ottering: When Chloe dissects her food into sections and pieces, eating the most delicious parts and discarding the rest)

(meringue: a light starchy cookie made by beating egg whites and sugar)

I followed a Martha Stewart recipe that required 10 minutes of egg beating. I don’t have the longest attention span, and I used a hand mixer. Hence, I only mixed for about 5-7 minutes before moving forward but they came out fantastic, anyway.

Here is how I made them:ingredients ingredients:

  1. 1 cup of unsalted butter, plus more for pan
  2. 8 ounces unsweetened chocolate
  3. 5 large eggs
  4. 3 1/2 cups sugar
  5. 2 teaspoons instant espresso
  6. 1 tablespoon pure vanilla extract
  7. 1 2/3 cups sifted all-purpose flour
  8. 1/2 teaspoon salt
  9. 1/2 cup semisweet chocolate chips

Directions:

Raise oven temperature to 400 degrees. Generously butter a 9-by-13-inch baking pan; set aside.Raise oven temperature to 400 degrees. Generously butter a 9-by-13-inch baking pan; set aside.

browniesCombine chocolate and butter in a heat-proof bowl or the top of a double boiler. Set over a pan of simmering water until the chocolate mixture has melted. Remove from heat; set aside.

Add sugar, eggs, and instant espresso to a bowlAdd sugar, eggs, and instant espresso to a bowl

beat eggs, sugar, and espresso at high speed, 10 minutes. n the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, beat eggs, sugar, and espresso at high speed, 10 minutes.

Reduce speed to low, and add melted-chocolate mixture and the vanilla; beat until combined. Reduce speed to low, and add melted-chocolate mixture and the vanilla; beat until combined.

Slowly add flour and salt; beat just until incorporated. Fold in chocolate chips.Slowly add flour and salt; beat just until incorporated. Fold in chocolate chips.

 Pour the batter into the prepared pan Pour the batter into the prepared pan

Bake until edges are dry but center is still soft, about 35 minutes. Remove pan from oven, and transfer to a wire rack to cool. Cut and inhale.

ohperfect