Why balloons say “boo” to me.

Cheer up, Lurch. Halloween is so soon!

Thatll do, I guess.

Halloween is pretty soon. I’ve recently heard a lot of people say how much they hate the ‘holiday’ but what kind of American hates a day that is only celebrated here and revolves around horror and candy?! Well, sooo0oorry if I’m entertained by peoples interpretation of ‘spooky’ and drunken girls in sexy costumes vomiting on the street. If the day revolved around things that I am legitimately petrified of, I may not like it so much.

So for me, a bad Halloween would consist of a mere two things.

1) The L train coming to a halt between Brooklyn and Manhattan. Call me crazy, but theres something extremely unsettling about  being inclosed in a cart, in a tube, underneath the East River fo any longer than I absolutely have to.

2) Balloons. Don’t get me wrong. I love how they look and there’s something really liberating about walking around with them.  I’m constantly afraid that some asshole is going to come up and pop one. The noise of a balloon popping is one of the most cringe inducing noises ever. Even when I know its coming, I will never be prepared to hear it without flinching.

    Damn you, sadistic children!

    So as long as my halloween doesn’t include drowning on the subway while a bundle of balloons are popping around me, I’m looking forward Halloween!

    I plan on dressing as  Myra Hindley (….probably Myra Hindley in a bear hat, if its cold out)  and making a mix cd to hand out after I eat all the candy intended for children. Not shockingly, the ear candy will probably involve a lot of Murder City Devils and this:


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    11 Responses to “Why balloons say “boo” to me.”

    1. Erin Says:

      I have the same balloon fear…I’m ok with them, and I like how pretty they are but I’m always bracing myself for them to pop.

    2. :: smo :: Says:

      i take it this means no visits from uncle ted?

      i always forget about halloween costumes until the last minute but i always have a lot of fun! some of my best adventure memories are from halloween!!!

      • ohChloe Says:

        I would have had to make the costume by now, and I waited because of you constant hesitation!
        So now I’m takin’ the easy way out.
        I hope this halloween ends better that the Bad Brains one did.

    3. TC Says:

      Bear hat!

    4. dietplaid Says:

      I hate balloons popping. I blow them up at work and when one is irregular and pops it does so right. in. my. ear. Lovely.

      I can’t wait for Halloween, even though we have nowhere to go my Boudicca costume rocks.

    5. Laura O! Says:

      I first heard of Myra Hindley on an episode of Deadly Women (which is an awesome show, by the way). I’m just curious – why is Kate Moss’ face photoshopped onto hers?

      Popping balloons is scary and disappointing. There’s nothing sadder than holding a string tied to a floppy piece of plastic.

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