Formspring Mattress’ and Snot Collections.

After I watched all the Rick Moranis movies that both Netflix and my VHS selection had to offer, I spent some time on the phone with Sam who convinced me to start a Formspring page. I’m unsure of how I feel about it but so far its still there. It is also now on here with visuals. Prepare to get your mind blown WHILE wanting to punch me in my condescending little face.

chloe! its kim! i miss you and havent seen you in forever and just wanted to know how youve been all these years?

Hi Kim! I don’t think I’ve seen you since high school. I’ve been good after all of these years. I think leaving Boca Raton, FL was the right choice. Heres what’s happened since I left:

  • I stopped wearing glitter on my eyeballs and tossed my Jincos that doubled as a sleeping bag
  • I got a huge tattoo to cover up that tiny tattoo that a meth head put on me when I was 18
  • I’ve realized that Goldschläger is a horrible thing to get drunk off of even if it was the only thing that the acne covered cashier would sell me while I was underage.
  • When I see old people pull up next to me at a red light I’m able to laugh at the fact that they can’t see over the wheel instead of get extremely nervous that they will steer themselves into my parked car.

Is this the Kim I knew and loved?

I hope you’re doing well. I still think of you when I hear anything Courtney Love ever wrote. I also hope I’m thinking of the right Kim….because BOY would I be embarrassed if I was telling the WRONG Kim that I ever wore Jincos.

what’s your girlfriend like?

I don’t have one, but if I did she would probably have a wiener.

Whats your favorite video game of all time?

Street Fighter II Turbo! I think I could win that game with any character from it. Except for maybe Zangief. That guys is less fun than trying to throw leaves from a tree.

What a fucking pansy!

could the person just become who they where supposed to be as opposed to being what they designed them to be?

Um…Hey! Would you like to know how to make Guacamole?

You’ll need:

  • 3 ripe hass avocados
  • 1 roma tomato (deseeded & diced)
  • 1/2 cup red onion (diced)
  • 1/2 cup cilantro leaves (finely chopped)
  • 1 large clove garlic, 1 serrano pepper (with seeds)
  • 1 TBSP lime juice (fresh squeezed)
  • 1 tsp distilled white vinegar
  • 1 tsp salt


Instructions:

  1. With a sledgehammer, crush garlic, peppers, and salt to make a uniform paste.
  2. Add lime juice and vinegar.
  3. Halve, pit, and peel the avocados as you need them to reduce oxidation.
  4. Add them to the mix of things you’ve just smashed with a fucking hammer and mash until slightly chunky consistency.
  5. Mix in red onion, tomato, and cilantro with a spoon. Taste and add more salt or vinegar, if desired. Spoon into a serving dish.
  6. Serve guacamole immediately with restaurant-style tortilla chips.
  7. Enjoy some delicious dip and don’t bother concerning yourself with how to form a proper sentence!

Who is your bff?

Ellen Degeneres. She just doesn’t know it, quite yet. But she will once her assistant stops being such a buzz kill and quits sending back all of the collages of us that I’ve made for her. It would be probably be helpful to have that restraining order lifted, as well.

if a person where to go deep in to their head and probably mainly be there most of the time, kind of letting go of what everything tells us to be and do.do you think it can make you lose yourself in what is real and what isnt?

Thats not original. You just described episode 1 season 1 of The Twilight Zone.

What’s the story behind that pic of you and Lemmy on your Flickr page?

We were shooting a music video for Probot and I had taken an ice cream break at the same time he had taken a cigarette break. So in that photo, he was trying to convince me to give him a taste of my delicious frosty treat. But I never trust a man with a cocoa puff on his cheek.

My Ice Cream Social with Lemmy

Even though you are young why do you have the personality and hands of an old lady?

I guess I’m just an old soul.

My old paws.

why come you got no tatoo?

probably because ‘tatoo’ is a non-existent word

what color do you think your hair looks best as?

who cares.

What stage of your life do you like the most?

I like all of it! I bet my 30’s are going to rule, though.

photo via blue bricks

what is formspring ? thats my question …..

It’s a type of mattress. right?

Do you have a booger collection like Stimpy?

Yep! It’s not boxed and catalogued like Stimpys was, though.

Why do you love pink?

Eat my shorts! Mr. Pink is the only pink that I’m OK with

what is your favorite work by Winsor McCay?

Although all of his comic strips always blow my mind, I think I’d have to say Gertie the Dinosaur was my favorite for how influential it was for the animation community.

a piece from McCays later political cartoons

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23 Responses to “Formspring Mattress’ and Snot Collections.”

  1. morti Says:

    formspring, really?
    the tag vain as fuck is absolutely your redemption.
    i was hoping to see some hula hoop action
    in that probot video, too bad it never happened.
    nice guacamole recipe tho

  2. :: smo :: Says:

    i’ll admit, i made a formspring when i was bored freelancing one day, but i’m not a super hot girl so no one asked me questions!

    i think i like the blog q & a way better though, there’s depth here! and images! and for some reason i’m currently visualizing the lusitania sinking in a gigantic bowl of booger encrusted guacamole.

    • ohChloe Says:

      I’m not a super hot girl either, which is probably why a lot of my “questions” are kind of insulting yet hilarious.
      yeah, I kind of just did it for a blog posts. Its kind of like those questioners that people used to fill out when they were bored, but more personalized, i guess. meh.

  3. ! Says:

    i cant see myself ever having a formspring! you got balls for posting a photo of you wearing jincos. i remember those pants, they where freaking huge! they where almost like dresses! i was into agressive inline skating and i unfortunately wore those also! it looks like you where into the whole rave thing, maybe…thats also my favorite game of all time, i freaking hate zangief also, i knew of someone that picked him just to be retarded and that got on my nerves! awe… i think your personality is nice, and its ok to be cranky and mean sometimes, pain is a part of life, and your hands, they are pretty! i remember someone from 5th grade that had hands like you, her name was “Blondie” and she seems like she would be kind of like you, she would be cranky some days and realy nice other days.once she was talking to someone during a instruction lecture, it was sooo funny! the teacher got so pissed off that he threw a chalkboard eraser at her and accidently hit her on the head. she had a chalkboard eraser mark on her hair! i think that ,that day i laughed the most i had ever laughed in the 5th grade! i got scared of that teacher immediately after that incident. i believe that your hands send the message that your a very sweet person, and loving in the inside, not too mention sensitive also, but i think thats ok that you want to hide that, because after all, we are living evil times! so, your hands are nice and beautiful! i love them! your hair is nice all colors.i bet your 30 are going to be unforgettable! ren and stympy is great! have you heard of basil wolvertoon? if you like ren and stympy you might like basil… little nemo is pretty cool. i enjoy dream things. interesting formspring!

    • Francine Says:

      Holy shit.

    • ohChloe Says:

      I’m way into my old lady hands and personality! I hate a lot of things about the modern world, culture, music, ect. So it’s a logical question, to me.
      thanks for the compliment
      Your school was way fucked, dude.

      • ! Says:

        same here… i sort of have a problem with almost everything this fake brainwashed place wants us to be. i tend to see a lot of things that are just to make money! i see how they got us under damn control, just because of money! i find it hard to just be me sometimes,but i guess if i was like them i would be at sleep. so , im in love with my life also! my school only had a like about a handfull of those kind of incidents so i guess it wasnt that bad, plus santa claus would land in a helicopter in our school yard, right before christmas vacation.

    • :: smo :: Says:

      basil wolverton IS awesome! check out milt gross too, not as grossout, but awesome.

      • ! Says:

        holy crap! i had never heard of him, i saw some cartoons and they where so racist, that they where great! also the stuff about how the money is corrupt is freaking tubular! the style is interesting also! i cant believe he provided ideas for charlie chaplin ! i love anything racist and offensive! thanks mr. smo i knew YOU where going to share about some great stuff some day…. what took you sooo long!? milt gross is freaking awesome! thanks!!!!!!

      • ! Says:

        plus , you just inspired me for something!

      • :: smo :: Says:

        just a quick life note; “i like anything racist and offensive” generally isn’t the optimal response in most situations.

      • :: smo :: Says:

      • ohChloe Says:

        Yeah. “i like anything racist and offensive” was a reeeeeeally moronic statement to make.
        Way to be an ignorant fuck.

  4. Francine Says:

    Clever way of tackling this, haha. I remember Probot! Wasn’t Dave Grohl in it or something?

    • ohChloe Says:

      yeah! It was a Dave Grohl project, where he collaborated with some of his favorite musicians on each individual song.
      I don’t remember the album doing too well, but he did do my voicemail recording that stayed on my phone for about a year. My phone was blown up!
      *personal win*

  5. Booth83 Says:

    We all wore’m

  6. monkeyKing Says:

    mind blown on this end m’am.
    did not know that Billie Holliday sold FormSprings. but if Joey Hetherton can sell PerfectSleepers.. whathehell eh?

  7. TheOinkOink Says:

    Lemmy! Cocoa Puff! Oink! Hahahahaha! I love it! I miss Motorhead concerts!

  8. ! Says:

    @ smo and chloe

    well…. moronic or not… thats the way it goes!

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