I Was Kidnapped.

Last week I was kidnapped! An old friend from the west coast came through New York while working, then took my shoes hostage, and took me along with him for a few days. From what I hear, they’re supposed to lock you up in a basement, give you a slice of Wonder bread, and send poorly composed letters to your family out of newspaper clippings, right? Well luckily for me, these guys had it all wrong…

I warn you that there is a lot of photos behind the cut

my adventure began by ending up barefoot on Bowery one night with this dummy:

We went to the National Aquarium in Baltimore, MD where I soon found out that school was no longer in session, due to the amount of screaming creatures that swarmed the area. It was easily drowned out but the much more coy creatures that were swimming around the area.

liiiike jellyfish

aaaaand dolphins

and a very impressive display of sharks

this one was by far the highlight, for he was the happiest fish in the sea. LOOK AT THOSE LIPS!

Baltimore isn’t exactly the most pleasant area, but the waterfront was pretty lovely

The burning ball of jews at the Holocaust Memorial? Slightly less lovely.

And there is also a Maryland rodent infestation

After the show, everyone was pretty hungry. Jorma is pictured here eating the anorexics chili dinner. Also known as Taco Bells mild sauce.

The following day I took a stroll through DC and saw some houses

and some art

and some recyclables

There were also these chip carts on every other block. So what I’m to believe is that Washington DC is sponsored by UTZ…

But DC isn’t just stone houses, artifacts, and eye catching chips.

The first thing I saw that morning was a bum get beat in a the middle of an intersection, and this bodega welcomed me with bullet proof glass and a buzzer entry.

With time to spare between being a tourist and not working, I ate some dangerously delicious pies

Took some portraitsAnd Jorma and I gave each other new buddy tattoos.

The show in DC was held a fairly new venue called the Rock n’ Roll Hotel. Previous to holding shows, selling booze, and delicious food, the venue was a funeral home.

The next day in Lancaster, PA Jorma and I went out looking for something entertaining and happen to find the most interesting slew of people that the place had to offer. I was then spared my life. I was sent back to New York by my captors on a bus with five bucks, a sandwich, and a memory that sums up my buddy, instilled in my mind. (consider yourself warned that there is a piece of gum stuck to my friends pants, in this photo)

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12 Responses to “I Was Kidnapped.”

  1. Booth83 Says:

    Burning balls of Jews, rodent infestation….KIDS!….MD just sounds like the taint of America, you see it give it a lick every now and then but you dont want to live there.

    I just thank baby jesus your ok

  2. ! Says:

    what a beautiful kidnapping, and great photos to remember it. i dont know about the weather around this time, but i once visited DC and hated it, the damn humidity,that was the worst trip i have ever taken, but the museums are nice though! that guy has balls! have a superb weekend!

  3. :: smo :: Says:


  4. Laura Says:

    The jellyfish displays are always so other-worldy. I like it. And Utz is the bomb.

    I feel like such an insulated little jerk for living in New York for the past four years and not once gone to DC/Boston/any place other than this city. Need to get a car and learn how to drive. Not necessarily in that order. For now, I’ll live vicariously.

    • ohChloe Says:

      I feel the same way. Although I’ve been through these places, I haven’t gone out and explored them so much.
      Buses run all around the NE starting at $1!
      no driving needed!

  5. Anna Says:

    Those pies look fucking amazing! I would for sure pay $28 for one of those bad boys. Looks like the best kind of kidnapping ever.

  6. monkeyKing Says:

    Inner Harbor, DC & Lancaster. At first glance that looks like an odd road trip trifecta… Until you mentioned UTZ.

  7. monkeyKing Says:

    and your warning really wasn’t strong enough. ugh

  8. Maddie Says:

    Yet again, your photos are so fantastically inspiring. I love the way that you are able to capture raw, everyday life in such an artistic way, making the documentation of your life so unique and memorable. Your general aesthetic in general is so perfect. Love, love, love this post.
    I de-friended you on facebook because I felt a little creepy for adding you, but your original email and compliments to my photography were so sweet, thank you! I was truly honored.
    Keep being terrrrrrific, always a fan.
    xo. Maddie.

  9. discus breeder Says:

    Howdy, I often read your blog.I love it, you touch upon anything from sport, news, entertainment, adult topics or just general topics. Maintain the excellent work. Perhaps you have dreamed about blogging for money?

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